Thursday, May 29, 2008

Journaling....

Do you like to journal? I journal a lot...I love to tell the story about the photos! I thought I would post a couple of my favorite layouts that include my journaling....



The journaling reads;

…it’s a day that I will never forget. Just two weeks before we had excitedly told everyone that we were expecting our first child. We were beyond blissful…we had just been married, and now we find out that we are going to have a bundle of joy. Life was good. No, life was great! Then September 20th came and my world came crashing in. I started bleeding, panic just rose in my like nothing I had ever felt before. I called my doctor and was told to go to the hospital for an ultrasound and then he would talk to me. Jon drove me to the hospital in silence, neither of us saying what was really in our hearts. The technician doing the ultrasound didn’t say a word, and I just knew. My doctor was on the phone and I can barely remember anything he said…only thing I remember is ‘I’m sorry Laura…your baby is gone’ The pain just took me over, and the sobs racked my body. My husband was there, holding on to me, trying to be strong but he broke down crying too. My sister who had been through the same pain came to offer me support and the three of us cried. I felt like I cried till there were no more tears then I cried again. Jon bless him was trying so hard to be strong but he too hurt and he tried not show me. The next few days were a blur of phone calls and people offering their condolences and doctors appointments. I felt so many emotions…immense sadness, overwhelming guilt, and extreme anger and now there is a little empty spot in my heart for the baby I never got to hold.





journaling reads;

There are a lot of things my husband doesn’t get to see while he is on the road all week. He may see all of Canada and most of the States but he doesn’t get to see the everyday things, like getting the boys ready for school, or the looks on their faces when I am there to pick them up at the end of the day. He doesn’t get to see them doing their homework, or being read to, or the funny faces they make at each other. He doesn’t get to see them playing in the sprinkler, or having a popsicle to cool down or them sleeping sweetly. He doesn’t see everything I do and sometimes take for granted. I think the thing that I wish he could see the most, is the boys looking out, down the road waiting to see if their daddy’s big truck is coming down the road! And when it is the look of pure joy on their faces and they jump up and down. But before he gets in the house they have calmed down and are trying to be ‘cool’ but you can tell they are super excited. I just wish he could see it all…




Journaling reads;

That’s what Jon is…my LOVE! He is so many things to me that my love is the only word large enough to encompass everything I feel for him. He makes me feel beautiful even when I have messy hair and no make up on. He aggravates me beyond reason, and makes me so mad I wanna explode. He makes me feel desirable because he thinks I am perfect just the way I am, even with a few extra pounds and a few gray hairs! He makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants! He makes me feel like a wonderful mom even if there are days I feel like I won’t be winning any mother of the year awards. He makes me feel like I will never be alone…no matter what I can turn to him and he’ll always be there, that I have a partner in life that will help me whenever I need it. He makes me feel passion and desire for him to the point there are no words. He makes me feel like he feels all these feelings for me…he makes me feel loved….which is why he IS my love





Journaling reads;

under the photo of me;
I am me…I don’t put on airs, or pretend to be someone I am not to make friends or others happy. I make no excuses for who I am or how I live my life. I am loud. I sometimes forget to edit myself. If you ask for my opinion I will give it, sometimes I am too brutally honest. I am stubborn as they come. I am too emotional, and sometimes I will cry over little things. I am also loving and caring. I am fiercely loyal to everyone I love. I will fight for what I believe in and for those I love. I were my heart on my sleeve and it often gets bruised but I continue to wear it there. I take care of those I love and would die protecting them. I value my family and friends above all material things. I am passionate. I pursue everything with my whole heart. I make mistakes. I am human.

Under the photo of Jon & I;
I am madly, deeply, head over heels in love with my husband. He is my rock, my heart, my love. I think he the sexiest man on the face of the earth and he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman. He keeps me grounded and he gives me wings. He makes me weak in the knees and gives me strength. We live our lives together with passion in every aspect of it. We are affectionate and caring and loving with one another. I support him and he supports me. I miss him terribly while he is on the road working. Its not always easy being the one left behind, and at times I feel that way but I know he loves me from the bottom of his heart. I would be lost without him.

Under the photo of the kids & I
I never knew the depth of love that a person could feel for another human being before I became a mom. I love being a mom to our boys…they are my world. It’s not always easy being the only parent home with them all week and I know there are times when I have not been as patient as I should have been, but our boys will NEVER doubt how much I love them. I am constantly second guessing myself and worrying about their future. I worry that since I am a stay at home mom there will be things that we may not be able to afford to buy them, but I want to be there when they are here. I volunteer at their school teaching arts & crafts whenever they need someone and the boys love that I do that. They are proud that their mommy comes to the school and love it when I am there. They are the reason I get up every morning and the reason I go to bed with a smile every night.










The journaling reads;
Our 6 year old asked me one day
‘Mommy, why do you scrapbook‘. This
sweet little cherub face looking up at
me with his kooky little smile asking a
question that he really wanted to know
that answer to. I looked at him and said
'this is why...moments like this' He looked
utterly confused and didn't really
understand my answer but that is why. To
record the everyday moments that affect
my life. The moments that make my heart
sing because our boys are laughing so hard,
the moments that reveal their complete
innocence, the moments that are everyday,
not very exciting, nothing really out of
the ordinary moments that make my life
extraordinary. I want to record everything
I can so when they are grown up they look
back and relive those moments that helped
mold them into who they are. To show
everyone how much I truly, deeply, madly
love my husband Jon from the very bottom
of my soul. I want future generations to
know us...really know what we were like,
not just by the photos but by the story
behind the photos. They will know that
I love my family with every fiber of my being
and my scrapbooks are a testament to that.

Thanks for looking

2 comments:

Scrappydog said...

Oh my, such beautiful journaling, which has has evoked both tears and smiles. Such profound words shared in such a touching way. Your layouts are just as beautiful.

Melanie said...

All your journalling brought tears to my eyes, the emotions in it is wonderful.

The journalling on "What he doesn't see" is so relevent to me. As a Navy wife I was always jealous that Peter could travel and see the world but I know that all he wants to do is see the little face standing by the door waiting for him. I get to see this and its heartbreaking when he can't too. Thank you.